Most of us are pretty good at recognizing unhealthy behaviors in other relationships, but when it comes to our own, we might not be the same sleuth. While denial and dissociation are creative ways to cope with emotional abuse, these protective mechanisms can also foil red flags waving for your protection.

We can say that any form of disrespect, betrayal, or violence is unacceptable, but where do we draw the line between behaviors that reflect having a bad day versus having a serious problem? A classic verse about love provides insight:

Love is patient: love is kind. It does not envy: it does not boast: it is not proud. It is not rude: it is not self-seeking: it is not easily angered and it keeps no record of wrongs.
I Corinthians 13:4
Modern translation: the same thing.

Everything that happens in your household impacts the psychological welfare and life energy of you and your children. It is crucial therefore that you recognize damaging behaviors in order to address the source of the problem. Some examples include:

1. Intimidation
2. False accusations
3. Blaming you for everything
4. Degradation and humiliation, privately or in public
5. Lying, breaking promises, or destroying your trust
6. Threats of harm to you, your children, or your pets
7. Physical and social isolation from family and friends
8. Driving fast and recklessly to frighten and intimidate you
9. Calling you names and constantly criticizing, insulting, and belittling
10. Extreme jealousy and possessiveness, including an attitude of ownership
11. Use of alcohol, chemical, or other substances as a barrier to your intimacy
12. Ignoring, dismissing or ridiculing your physical, emotional, or sexual needs

Is anything familiar? If so, your familys emotional welfare is at stake.